literature

Why Do Girls Like Jerks?

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Pinkfirefly135's avatar
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In reality, who would want to like a jerk? Really.
Guys (and sometimes even girls) get so mad at the large percentage of the female population that seems to have a fetish with horrible, mean, cheating, jerks. But this is why these girls pick these guys:

1. Girls want to feel special. Sure, a nice guy will make her feel amazingly special all the time – but somehow, the few kind words that a jerk says seem to have a more "special" effect because they're said less often and since he's a jerk to everyone else, the fact that he says nice things to her in particular not only makes her feel more special, but in her mind, also believes she is more special.

This jerk chose her – chose her out of all these other girls, she feels like she's the one who got through to his heart. Newsflash ladies: you didn't.

2. Some girls don't want a nice guy because they subconsciously think a nice guy can always get someone else – because he's nice. And also because, if you're dating jerk, there's less of a less chance that you'll blame yourself if things go wrong. A nice guy is nice – so if something goes wrong with him, it's obviously your fault, you did something wrong; something is wrong with you. A jerk is a jerk – and if something goes wrong him, you have not only yourself, but also your friends and family to convince you it was all his fault.

3. A nice guy hurts more to lose. Like I just said, after a break up with a jerk,  your friends and family will be telling you that you can find someone better and that you deserve much better. After a break up with a nice guy, what can your friends and family tell you? Nice guys aren't as easy to find for one thing, so who knows if there will be better out there? Also, when dating a jerk, you can always decide that you're going to go for better next time – so there's always a glimmer of hope.

4. A more commonly known reason for liking jerks is that they're "mysterious." Bad boys seem to have a hint more of excitement and fun surrounding them – and that's appealing. Bad boys are also a little rougher around the edges, allowing the girls to see them as someone who wouldn't be afraid to protect them if something bad were to ever happen. Being able to feel safe with a guy is definitely something a girl wants. But there are plenty of "bad boys" that's aren't total jerks.

5. The fifth reason, is something that involves both boys and girls in many different aspects of their lives: people want what they can't have. I mean, after all, don't guys often win a girl over and then drop her like a rock right after she falls head over heels for him? This theory goes back to my first point – she thinks she's won him over and that she has gotten what she thought she couldn't have, and that's exciting as heck, and makes her feel extremely special.

6. The charming first impression. Which, really, is the only card a jerk has to play.

7. Every girl is different. These reasons may not apply to every girl, but I think these are probably the most accurate.

-  Most of these things are really just in a girl's subconscious. I don't think most girls actually think everything out. Girls dating jerks is just (I think) really only a matter of insecurity. You're afraid of the nice guys because you're afraid to lose something great, but who more to boost your self-esteem than a guy who's constantly cheating on you, telling you he's busy, or just plain doesn't treat you how you should be treated?

Let me tell you something ladies: there is not one girl on the face of the earth who deserves a jerk. I can tell you from experience that a jerk will take, and take, and take, and take, and never give. They'll drop little crumbs of hope along the way just to keep you hanging on, but other than that, don't be fooled into thinking things will ever change. He knows you love him just the way he is, so why would he ever try to change and be nicer?

You love him? Sure, that's fine. But don't fall into the trap that "if you love him, you'll never leave him" or "I'm all he has." You'd be doing him a favor by leaving him, trust me. There are times when you have to let go of things you love for your own good. It's not healthy to be constantly put down like you're worthless, or like you need to fit into someone else's mold of who you should be to be worth something. You are a wonderful, unique, special person. No self-absorbed douche bag should have the right to tell you otherwise.

Don't stay with him because you're afraid you won't find anyone else.
Don't stay with him because it's comfortable/a habit.

If he can't treat you right, he doesn't deserve you. Don't let him win the gold medal when he walked the whole way to the finish line.


Anyway, just a few things to ponder. =D
Yes, the answer to the question that all nice guys have.

Wrote this a while back and just found it lying around, hope you all enjoy!
© 2012 - 2024 Pinkfirefly135
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Freyad-Dryden's avatar
I think it may also have a lot to do with media representation. Pretty much every romcom these days is about a complete asshole who discovers he loves this one girl so much that he's willing to change everything about himself for her. That's a very appealing thought, to mean that much to someone.
Naturally, reality bares no resemblance to Hollywood.